You

You know what…You’re alone… You’re alone in this whole wide world with no one to be there by your side… You’re lonely….You’re hurting….. The walls are closing,suffocating you, you’re drowning in the middle of the ocean under the crushing waves with not a single second to breathe and you don’t see someone with a life boat anywhere….There’s you and there’s only you…You don’t know who to trust… You’re afraid, paranoid… you don’t know how to let anyone in…worried if you bring down your walls for just one goddamn second… they’ll know who you are ,what you really are and how broken you are in the inside and that they’ll leave cause they can’t fix you…no more than you already can…and that is all that happens all over again and again… you just can’t bear it anymore… you’ve learnt your lesson…

Life is so many things, but beautiful isn’t one of them… After so many hits…you’ll come to know….that you’ve got to keep your guard up at all times…cause if you lose it for just one second, just…one second…..it’s done… it’s over before you know it… If you allow yourself to do that same mistake over and over again you’re making a fool out of yourself.. You might think that this time I will make it right…I will make it work…this time will not be like the other times… You’re just lying to yourselves…that is what you say to make yourself believe it will be all right… Atleast this time it will turn out something different, something good, something better, something worth it..but it never is… You might think that after everything, you might not feel any of it, any pain…numb even…but that’s not true…. Everytime it just hits you harder and deeper than the last time…it eats you up from the inside out….it makes you go crazy…to a point where you don’t even feel like yourself…

Life can be so tempting, exhausting, deceiving,  treacherous even…but hang in there, you’ll get the hang of it but remember don’t give in…cause that’s what it wants… 

No one was born with a path set out  for them… We all do things we regret, we come out of that, learn and then change and adapt…

What’s ironic here is that you’re not alone…

And that “you” all along…might be you, someone within you,  someone within us, someone somewhere far along…and not to mention that “you” could also be me..

Stealing the words of my comfort character, I would say “Truth is, it’s not love on which the strongest foundations are built. It’s the decency of merciful lies.”